Top ten perks and financial benefits of being unemployed

Recently a friend made an off-hand remark that I was lucky that I wasn’t still working because I didn’t have to put up with co-workers coming into the office sick, and spreading their contagion around to everyone.

Lucky… that’s it. The medical savings on cold remedies alone have made being out of a job worth it.

What she said did get me to thinking about the other bonuses of being unemployed long-term. Aside from the health issues that is.

Nine more perks and financial benefits of being unemployed:

2. You can dispense with all that pesky showering. When you don’t have to go into an office five days a week, you can skip a day… or three. Shaving your legs? Pffft… High priced body wash and moisturizers? Forget about it.

3. The cost of hair care products is also greatly reduced. As another money-saving measure you can forego regular haircuts allowing you to simply pull that long, greasy mess up into a scrunchie. See #1

4. You no longer have to spend money on expensive cosmetics, or waste time applying it each morning before leaving your house. You can go bare-faced every day if you want, especially when schlepping around Wal-Mart in your pjs and fuzzy slippers.

5. There’s much less paper work. Joint tax returns just got 50% easier to fill out. Amusing sidebar: since being laid off, almost three years ago, the Mister and I have been paying more income tax on less income. Funny that…

6. Wardrobe costs are reduced. There’s no need for office-friendly apparel. You don’t have to buy pricey bras (since you’re now not wearing one), and flannel pants and old concert T-shirts become the fashion of the week. You can go from bed to couch without having to change, then back to bed and back to the couch. See #1

7. Think of all that money saved from not having to eat lunch out. You can simply eat dinner leftovers while standing at the sink. Strawberry shortcake is so a meal. Fresh fruit and milk were involved!

8. Alarm clocks are a thing of the past. With kids old enough to fend for themselves for breakfast, even lunch, there’s no need to get out of bed… ever.

9. You save money on gasoline too. Since most of your friends were co-workers, there’s nowhere to go when they stop calling to get together for lunch or Girl’s Night Out.

10. With some meticulous planning, you never have to miss another episode of People’s Court or Judge Judy. If you’re really good, you can also get in Judge Joe, Judge Ross, Judge Alex, Gloria Allred, and Swift Justice. All of this legal training will be helpful if you ever have to appeal your Unemployment Benefits determination.

My unemployment compensation ran out last June, so all of these time- and money-saving perks have really come in handy.

Submitted as part of Shell’s “Pour Your Heart Out” writing prompt at Things I Can’t Say. Please stop by to read the other posts, and give a little comment love.

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I believe all good fiction includes an element of truth, and all good photography includes an element of fantasy. In this journal I hope to give voice to the stories swirling around in my head, and to capture the images I see through my camera’s lens.

19 thoughts on “Top ten perks and financial benefits of being unemployed

  1. I did a two-year stint, myself. Isn’t it fun to find the upside? And to get through it without losing the all-important humorous outlook… priceless!

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  2. I loove not showering for a few days. Because when you finally take one, you feel brand new.
    In reference to the pet quality time comment made previously, the only drawback is that your pets, once they are used to you being around, can’t handle any sudden absences. Co-dependent animal syndrome

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  3. you had me laughing out loud! we totally relate at our house after double income, double layoffs. Popcorn and ice cream can also count for dinner, too… and just when you think the hair HAS to get washed, you can put that off another day with a cute baseball hat. If worn with yoga pants and t-shirt, you’re just dressed and ready to for a workout.

    Keep up the humor!

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  4. Gas is huge savings! When I stopped working in 2007, i realized how much money I spent (including gas) to get my eye brows waxed by the only person I trusted to do them. Silly, I know. I’ve been waxing my own brows for 5 years now! It’s special superpower I have.

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