I’ve wondered out loud before at how real people really are online. Is it easier to be candid here than in real life? Even if you use your real name, telling real stories about your life, there is a certain level of anonymity. We can still hide behind our laptop screens, avoiding the tells of body language, the inflection in voices. We can be more ourselves then ourselves.
We can be bolder than we would be during face to face conversations. Here we can let our guard down, we can say what we want, how we want, without that trepidation of a negative instant reaction we could get out in the world.
Here I can exude a sense of confidence that I don’t always feel, hoping no one pulls back the curtain. We all have insecurities that we successfully hide, does that make us less honest? In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m staying real…
- I try very hard to appear like I have my shit together, but there are days I am so overwhelmed that I ponder what would happen if I took just a little of my son’s anxiety medication.
- I am very insecure about my friendships, and am constantly concerned that I have done or said something to offend people. I don’t want to ask if that’s the case, because I also don’t want to seem too needy.
- I act like I have all the answers, but am really flying blind and hoping I don’t kill anyone.
- If I were as honest as I pretend to be, I would use the phrases “Shut up!” and “Grow up!” much more often.
- When I share a comparable experience with people, I fear that it comes across as oneupmanship or duplicity. I have gotten to a point where I don’t want to say anything at all, then worry that that makes me seem indifferent. See #2
- So many of my responses to other people’s difficulties sound like stock inspirational clichés, but don’t feel like I can say what I really think because I would appear callous. See #4
- I’m not always as happy as I seem, nor as nice.
- As I get older, I become notably more cynical and mistrustful, and can easily see myself in my dotage as the curmudgeonly, neighborhood cat lady yelling out my window at kids to “get off my lawn!”
Stay real, what’s behind your façade?
Submitted as part of Shell’s “Pour Your Heart Out” writing prompt at Things I Can’t Say. Please stop by to read the other posts, and give a little comment love.
Thin spiral notebook 
I’m glad you wrote this: I’ve been wanting to write a similar post for a long time and now I don’t have to! 🙂 haha
Mine would have been a little bit different, though: although I (obviously) don’t share every aspect of my life online, what you read is what you get when it comes to my personality. I feel like (and have been told that) people who read my blog aren’t surprised at all when they meet me because I’m exactly as I portray myself on Suburban Scrawl.
Also, regarding #7? Nobody is! 🙂
Great post!
LikeLike
Ditto #7 and #8!
I think there are two sides to our online selves. Yes, we can be more honest and open about the things we choose to share, but we can also simply choose not to discuss certain aspects of our lives. There’s a fine line. Once you start showing people who you are, either by what you tell or choose not to tell, there comes an expectation for you to keep being the person everyone thinks you are.
LikeLike
#2 has been hard for me too in the past. Thank God I’m learning to break free from caring too much or worrying about others think. There was a time in my life when I would be consumed with thoughts about what others might be thinking of me ALL DAY LONG. It was exhausting. However, it’s in part to the fact I actually do take #1. LOL
LikeLike
YES! To all of this. Just yes.
Especially #5.
LikeLike
Ok. HOLY CRAP. I’m right there with you. Do you know what I said to my friend after I posted that “I’m not playing nice” post? I asked her if I sounded too bitchy. I told her I was worried I was going to finally be “outed” as the mean girl like when Rosie O used to be Super Nice on her old talk show. And then people realized she wasn’t as nice as she seemed…. *sigh* I’m just right there with you.
Kristen
http://www.alittlesomethingforme.com
LikeLike
Wow, great entry. I’ve been thinking along these same lines lately. I’m Abby by the way… arrived here via Terri’s blog. I’ll definitely be back!
LikeLike
You and I are so on the same wavelength today!!
LikeLike
Such an honest post, I adore it. I worry about people misinterpreting me as well. I often share in a comment my similar experience and wonder if that person is going to take it as I am trying to one up them. I try to just be myself and hope that people accept me as I am.
Stopping in from Shell’s!
LikeLike
Thank you for finding my post today, and leaving a comment. I appreciate it.
This is a great post to think about. I am probably more open in person than I am on my blog. It is great when you find those friends where you can be 100 percent real, and show all the flaws.
LikeLike
What an honest post. I think we can all relate to some of what you disclosed. I know I can relate to #2, it’s hard to find friends you can be completely yourself with. I have a few, but others – well, I have to be careful.
LikeLike