Smile like you mean it

May 16, 2016 ~ Tara R. ~ 1 Comment

This face… my face… is more comfortable behind the camera lens than in front of it. I carry an image of myself in my mind’s eye, and it doesn’t reconcile with what I see on film or in the mirror. I don’t like that, it makes me feel uncomfortable, alien, like an imposter. Behind the … Continue reading Smile like you mean it

Ghosts of my childhood

August 4, 2014August 4, 2014 ~ Tara R. ~ 7 Comments

I see a hint of her from the corner of my eye as I walk down a busy street. There she is watching me through store windows that distort my already misshapen body like funhouse mirrors. When I try to catch her spying on me, she vanishes. Sitting in the neighborhood cafe, sipping coffee with … Continue reading Ghosts of my childhood

A mother’s legacy

October 15, 2012January 7, 2015 ~ Tara R. ~ 14 Comments

It all started with my mom, or maybe even as far back as with her mother. My mother is a beautiful woman, but for my entire life, she was always so harsh about her appearance. She thought she was too fat, or too grey, or too this or too that. I don’t remember her ever … Continue reading A mother’s legacy

50 is the new cat lady

September 19, 2012January 9, 2015 ~ Tara R. ~ 14 Comments

I was talking with my dad recently about meeting for lunch to celebrate my 50th birthday in two weeks. He was reluctant to mention which birthday it is. It's really weird saying it out loud... "I'm turning 50 years old." (I think my parents are also having a difficult time reconciling the fact that their … Continue reading 50 is the new cat lady

A little lost

May 24, 2012January 9, 2015 ~ Tara R. ~ 12 Comments

There are days when I feel that I am hiding away from the world. I refuse to leave my home, often neglecting simple niceties, making it easier to rationalize my need for my self-imposed solitude.Avoiding windows, ignoring doorbells, screening calls - hoping it's no one important who would necessitate actual conversation.There is just too much … Continue reading A little lost

Inner fire

April 24, 2012January 7, 2015 ~ Tara R. ~ 8 Comments

Is your inner light a tea candle or a blazing inferno? Does it shine or smolder? Warm and inviting, welcoming others to draw closer, Or intense and overpowering, too hot to approach? How does your internal flame burn?