Just the facts ma’am…

I am a liar.

When friends gush over this or that episode of their favorite TV show, I smugly claim to ‘not watch a lot of network television.‘ In saying that I see myself as somehow above the fray, too erudite to be swept up in the tsunami of reality shows, well-written family dramadies, and the revival of musical theater.

True, I have not seen a single airing of Glee, or Jersey Shore. I have never watched Community, Parenthood or Big Bang Theory.

I couldn’t care less who has talent or who thinks they can dance, who wants to be an Idol or has a Voice.

We don’t have HBO, Cinemax or Showtime so there is a whole host of Must See TV that is completely shut off from us.

When my daughter the sociology grad is home, she and I watch Real Housewives (all of them) and Gangland. There are remarkable similarities in these programs. We also catch a few shows of Say Yes to the Dress simply for me to learn how NOT to be a Bridezilla Mama. It’s all research, an integral component in the study of Modern Pop Culture, definitely not for entertainment purposes.

After our initial subscription to Netflix we did have marathon sessions of Dexter and 30 Rock, but that was all for my husband and daughter’s benefit. I just happened to be in the room when they watched.

Living in a male-dominant home I truly have no choice, unless I exile myself to another room, but I do watch copious amounts of sports ~ racing, soccer, football, more cars, Premier League soccer, and more racing.

I am confessing here and now… my arrogance, my feigned superiority over reputed third-rate television is a sham.

For when I am alone, when there is no one around to judge or castigate, I’m burrowed under a fleecy blanket, propped up on numerous pillows, and unblushingly watching….

…crime shows. All of them.

Law & Order, SVU and Criminal Intent. I’ve been known to slip off to the back bedroom and watch Law & Order UK on BBC America.

All the CSI franchises, except I’m more likely to taunt the screen while watching the Miami version a la Mystery Science Theater 3000. Horatio is a bit much to take sometimes, I keep seeing him as John Kelly from NYPD Blue (same character really).

I think Tim is underrated on NCIS, and Jethro’s detachment is getting a little old.

Love Criminal Minds, but my husband worries about my psyche after seeing how brutal that one can be.

Bones… gotta love a show with one main character with Asperger’s and another who is a former vampire.

Wept after the final episode of Monk.

Then there is The Glade, Rizzoli and Isles, In Plain Sight, White Collar, The Closer, Psych, Covert Affairs, Burn Notice, Cold Case, Without a Trace, Fairly Legal

You get my point. I am a crime junkie. I’ve been known to seek out reruns of Murder She Wrote and Matlock. I’ve sunk so low as to scrounge through the couch cushions of my TV listings for old episodes of Columbo and Rockford Files.

I am unrepentant and shameless.

*Day 1 – 30 Days of Shamelessness: declare your love for an uncool TV show.

14 thoughts on “Just the facts ma’am…

  1. Though I don’t care for crime shows, I love that you are obsessed with them. I only hope your life doesn’t ever take a turn towards the dark side…with all you’ve learned, the world would be in trouble! muah-ha-ha-ha!

    Like

  2. Oh my goodness gracious! I’m with ya on all of it until you get to what you do watch. My guilty pleasure? Umm Days of Our Lives, although I currently have 29 episodes unwatched on the DVR which tells me I’m probably done with it. And then it’s the dumb shows like Wipeout and I Want To Win A Japanese Game Show. Outside that, it’s Suze Orman and other tell dumb people what to do with your money or lack of it or Food Network.

    Though I could really go for some old Murder She Wrote. Oh the memories with that one….

    Like

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