There is something wrong…

with being so cold all the time that…

~ you put your PJs in the dryer to get them toasty warm before putting them on.

~ when you buy socks it’s not with fashion in mind, but rather ‘will these keep my feet warm?’

~ you welcome night sweats brought on by peri-menopause.

~ your side of the bed has not one, but two extra blankets…  doubled over, so it’s more like four.

~ you have considered wearing a toque to sleep in.

~ you have worn a hoodie to sleep in… with the hood up.

~ even though you live in one of the hottest and most humid states in the southern U.S., you rarely wear shorts during the summer.

~ having become completely acclimated to the tropical weather of your home state, you consider it freezing when the outside temps drop below 60°F (15.5°C).

~ you’re afraid that one day you’re going to lose a toe or finger, having it snap off like an icicle.

~ your normal body temp is only slightly above 96° (35.5° C).

~ you buy one of these babies… dual controls, fits mattresses up to 19-inches deep, machine washable… then keep it on your bed year-round and set on High.

~ you sneak out of bed late at night to reset the thermostat, trying not to wake your dogs because they will rat you out by barking.

~ after you bake something and the oven is still hot, you’ll stand in front of it with the door slightly ajar so you can warm your hands with the radiant heat coming out of the box.

~ you’ve begun drinking coffee and hot tea throughout the day to help keep your hands warm.

For just one day I would love to be warm all over, and not have an extremity be so cold it hurts.

Temperatures in Northwest Florida have finally dipped to the 60s during the day and 40s at night. I haven’t turned on our furnace yet, but I have turned on my heating pad and piled up blankets on my side of the bed. I’ve been wearing sweaters and hoodies for the past two months, and have considered using the self-cleaning feature on my oven to heat up the kitchen in the morning just so I can feel my fingers.

*From the Vault of IMSO; originally published Dec. 6, 2008. Edited and updated.

10 thoughts on “There is something wrong…

  1. I know exactly how you feel, because I am the same way! I have what I call cold flashes. I swear they set in like menopause, only they aren’t the hot ones! I tend to overbundle at night though, and then start peeling off socks in my sleep. Stay warm!


  2. I’m the same way as you. Except I at least have the excuse of living in Chicago. And it’s not an issue in the summer. I’m actually about to go run and find another sweater to put atop the one I’m wearing now. But that heated mattress pad? L.O.V.E. mine.


  3. My kids, it turns out, are a couple of Southern Flowers. We went to the Callaway Gardens lights the other night, and I was mildly chilled at probably 57 degrees. Poor Caroline was aching with the cold. She’s ALWAYS freezing. And now Sam’s started it, too. No comprendo.


  4. It’s all what you’re used to. You’d never make it up here with your Florida thin blood. I envy you and your 60s and 40s right now. My hands are still cold from 4 hours ago.


    1. I grew up in Tennessee, where we had snow every winter. If we visit my mother in the winter time, we bring an air mattress so I can sleep on the floor in front of their fireplace. I do not think I could survive in a climate colder than where I live now.


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