I took The Boy into town this week to buy a pair of skate shoes. The Hellboy cat has this annoying habit of sitting in people’s shoes and peeing. His latest impromptu litter box belonged to his Boy. My presence was requested on this shopping trip because I’m easier than his dad to talk into buying truly heinous looking shoes.
After a successful trip to the skate shop, a new pair of standard blue Adidas being acquired, we headed home – only to be caught up in evening road gridlock.
Since the drive home was going slowly, The Boy decided to try calling someone, someone who isn’t always easy to find. As usual, he had to leave a voice message. During his call, I had to deal with two asshats who refused to let me merge into a turn lane… I even had my turn signal flashing, and they still cut me off.
Traffic can make me a little road ragey, and I tend to go all potty mouth. I usually curb my enthusiasm for swearing when other people are in the car with me, but I let slip an f-bomb and a curse on the other drivers’ manhood. The Boy, traumatized, shushed me before my offensive language was background music for his message.
I promptly apologized and to make up for my faux pas, I complimented him on his succinct message. I confessed to how much I hate leaving messages myself and usually just ramble. He in turn confessed that when he leaves a message for any of his friends, it typically only consists of a long string of very loud expletives.
This befuddled me.
“You just told me you cuss in front of your friends, but it bothers you to hear me swear?”
He gave me one of those, ‘thanks-for-stating-the-obvious’ looks, and made a sort of ‘pffft’ noise.
“Oh, you just don’t want your Mother to swear in front of you,” I was now amused.
“Well, yeah.”
It would do no good to point out that’s exactly why I don’t like hear him swear in front of me. Even though he’s legally an adult, a mother still doesn’t want to hear her baby cussing. It’s not as cute when they’re 19 years old, as when they were 19 months old.
I guess, that I can’t complain too much. He did inherit his potty mouth from me.
Thin spiral notebook 
Interesting. My girls find it quite hilarious when I let out of a few choice words during our commute!
LikeLike
If there’s anywhere where I’m more apt to let a few cuss words fly….it’s driving in the car. Sometimes I’m amazed at how some people have licenses. I’m not perfect, but I try a lot harder than some people. My kids felt the same way about me swearing Tara….now they just laugh their guts out and even spur me on. Kids!! ~Joy
LikeLike
I manage to keep my mouth in check everywhere … except in the car. And I get this. I don’t want to hear my kids swearing either.
LikeLike
I tend to get the road rage when I’m in the car alone. If someone else is driving, I’m hanging on to the “oh shit” handle. (you know, the one at the top).
Enjoyed the story…
LikeLike
Road ragery…I haz it…it’s a prerequisite to receiving your driver’s license here in Jersey. The kids make a game of replacing cuss words with something much more acceptable like “Hey, that Richard Head just totally cut you off!” and, well, makes for fun vocabulary lesson, yes?
LikeLike
Richard Head?! Now, that is hilarious. I’ll have to try that next time I feel like a rant.
LikeLike
I don’t curse, usually. But when I do say somethinge xtra snarky or borderline inappropriate my kids get offended. They hold dad to a different standard than mom and themselves.
LikeLike
My husband rarely swears, so when he does let go with a blue streak, it’s even a shock to me.
LikeLike
haha…I know how he feels
LikeLike
Love the banana peel “slip.” My youngest son’s almost first word was “s—t,” and I about choked to death to keep from laughing. I knew full well where the word came from. Ah, from the mouths of babes. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLike
There’s no question where either of my kids get their ‘salty’ language.
LikeLike
That’s really hilarious. Maybe this is why my Mom still objects to my vocabulary. My Dad has never cared one way or the other. Poor Mom. She won’t even read my novel.
LikeLike
Oh, I am very careful when I’m around my mom. She’d go all apoplectic if she heard half of the ‘bad words’ that have come out of my mouth. My father was a sailor… ’nuff said.
LikeLike
Cute story… Do you remember the cartoon where the dog who was mild mannered and polite, turned into a Jeckyl type character when he got behind the wheel? Well this story reminded me of that.
LikeLike
I’ve never run anyone off the road before, but I have put curses on people that their grandchildren will feel.
LikeLike
Hahaha! Inherited potty mouthness!
At one point, my parents were concerned about showing my kids a movie because of language. My eldest responded with, “they couldn’t say anything we haven’t heard mommy say already…”
LikeLike
I think my kids could say the same. HA!
LikeLike