Spent about an hour last night reading through some old posts from an idle blog of mine. I used to write a lot about the initial onset of my son’s mental health issues, about the guilt I felt about not being able to do much to help him, and general all around ranting and raving.
I was one very angry woman. A year, 18 months ago, I was in a perpetual state of being homicidally pissed off at everyone and everything.
That seems like a lifetime ago.
My son was going through a transition. He was forced to drop out of school and was in a very scary place where we couldn’t reach him.
Back then I was constantly on the verge of tears. I felt powerless to help my son. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, only stumbling blocks and pitfalls. I was lost in my sorrow and impotence.
That was then…
Today, my son is attending technical school to learn a trade, he is managing his disorder and is talking about moving out to live on his own. And, I don’t feel like I need to hit something all the time. Life is still a struggle sometimes, but it’s okay. We’re learning, and growing, and making our way as best as we can.
My son is smiling again, and I can breathe again.
When I meet other parents who are just starting on this journey, receiving a diagnosis that changes their child’s life and their own, I can confidently say, ‘it will get better.’ It may not seem that way right now, but they too will see that light some day soon.
You will all learn to cope, even thrive. You will find a way to carry on and hope won’t be an inconceivable concept any longer. There may even be laughter again. It may not be today, or even tomorrow, but it will happen.
I promise…
Submitted as part of Shell’s “Pour Your Heart Out” writing prompt at Things I Can’t Say. Please stop by to read the other posts, and give a little comment love.
Thin spiral notebook 
Your writing expresses a sense of peace at where you are right now. You have grown into knowing what you’re dealing with and accepting, coping with what you have. I admire you. This is so important for others to read and learn from especially if they are just beginning a similar journey or if they are in the midst of it.
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It’s so good to read this, Tara. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who will take great comfort from your words, experiences, and assurance.
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–Happy to hear your’re in a new place in your life.
Hugs from Minnesota. X
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I remember those days well. I think that anger was actually helpful. It spurred you to continue to act and fight for him. It gave you strength to support him. And he always knew you had his back. I’m so happy for you and your son!
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So glad I read this today because I really needed to hear it – today of all days believe it or not. I sure hope we are able to get to where you guys are now because it’s real hard to believe at the moment. FYI – I’ll email you in a day or so with updated news. Just glad you had/have someone to vent too – not having that makes it so much more difficult…..
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I’m glad that both of you are pulling out of the dark and pulling through. Trust me, OCD doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
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This post is a powerful testament that things will do get better with times. Thanks so much for sharing this. I need to read this tonight.
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I needed to read this, being at the beginning of our journey and feeling so powerless to help. Thank you. xo
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I remember that time. I remember numerous phone calls, tears and anger. But you pushed through it. You worked through your emotions one step at a time, and you inspired me to do the same with my life. You have taught me to love unconditionally, and my respect and admiration for both you AND WK has grown tremendously.
You should be so proud of yourself. And proud of your son. You have both come such a long way, together.
xo
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You have to know that you had a huge part in helping me get to this point. You taught me how to live for today and not worry so much about the things I can’t change. Thank you so much!
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So glad to read this. I remember meeting you right after some of that occurring. You didn;’t seem angry as much as frustrated.
I’m just glad he;s better and you’re coping. You and Bobina have a lot in common, dealing with people you love who struggle with their minds.
virtual hug
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