Paper chase

My husband and I are feuding ~ a bloodless, passive-aggressive war of wills.

Issuing blame to the person who fired the first salvo would depend on who you ask. Of course, I point the accusing finger at him.

I hypothesize that the average male, being able to stand for half of his bathroom duties (I said ‘dootie”!), is clueless about how much tissue a female would prefer to use to dabbed her Lady Bits after her sit-down.

Let me be clear… it’s more than two squares of Charmin (or whichever your brand choice), even if it is 2-ply.

Apparently my husband isn’t aware of this proclivity, and instead of replacing a nearly spent roll of toilet paper, he’ll leave me the dregs. Any paper deficit unclear until I’m in an indelicate situation. Any full replacement rolls being in the linen closet, and out of arm’s reach.

Hence the feud.

I’m of the school of thought that once the roll is down to a borderline amount, I say hang a new roll while still offering the last of the old one.

Not now.

If it’s debatable that there’s enough left for proper application, I won’t replace the roll, waiting to see if he will. I do get a new one for me, while still leaving him what he felt was adequate for my purposes.

The extent of our feud made evident recently when the overhead light in our master bathroom burnt out, a predicament I was unaware of until later in the day. The skylight lets in enough natural light that turning on the overhead isn’t necessary during the day. Apparently the Mister knew the light was out, and theoretically morning time restraints didn’t permit him an opportunity to install a new bulb until that night when it was dark outside.

The following exchange let my husband know I was mindful of his past paper crimes…!/Tara_R/status/147131497613230080

6 thoughts on “Paper chase

  1. HAHA – nice to know I’m not the only one with this issue. I’m thinking of getting one of those pretty “toilet paper towers” at BB&B to put next to the toilet – at least I won’t have to get up and go to the closet after realizing I’ve sat down to do my business and there’s no toilet paper left…..


  2. Bwa ha haaaaa! You totally win!

    I’ve been a guest in too many houses where there was little to no toilet paper and none in the bathroom (and yes, I felt terribly guilty looking in their cupboards), so we go all white trashy and “display” our TP proudly on the over-the-toilet rack. 😉

    P.S. LOVE that it’s snowing! 😀


  3. It is amazing how often a roll of toilet paper has to be replaced. The people in this house are very strategic, leaving just enough to justify not replacing the roll. I feel like I am constantly taking care of this task.


  4. HA!

    flip the roles and you have my house. There are three rules in my marriage. No cheating, no lying, never run out of toilet paper.

    My girls NEVER replace the rolls. Ever. So I know your pain.


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