With all the goings on surrounding my daughter and her recent graduation, her pending grad school plans and the inevitable moving out of our family home, I fear my son is getting lost in all the sibling adoration.
The Boy has had more than his share of set backs in the last few years, struggling in school and through life in general. When his dad and I approved his request to withdraw from high school last year, to instead help him earn his GED, we set in motion a course of events we couldn’t stop.
At the time, with the support of his counselors and doctors, his dad and I believed we made the right choice. I still feel it was the right choice, but there are so many typical teen moments he’ll never experience. I realized all this at the time, and he told us he was happy with the decision, but I have a niggling feeling of regret.
I overheard him tell a friend recently that he sometimes wished he was back in high school because he was missing out on so many things. He’ll never attend a homecoming dance, or a prom. He won’t walk the stage with his high school peers, he may never walk the stage to earn a college degree.
A few years ago, in a rare moment he confided in me that his adolescent animosity toward his sister was mainly because of the seemingly effortless way she coasted through life. School was easy, friendships were easy, EVERYTHING was easy and his medical issues were keeping him from functioning in some of the most basic ways.
Since leaving high school, my son has been attending tech school, maintaining good grades and rarely missing class. It’s been an amazing transformation, but lately I watch him, watching his sister. Since she’s been away at school, their relationship has improved dramatically. I think the distance, and his own positive educational accomplishments, have tempered his resentment.
I make sure to tell him often how proud I am of him too, proud of how hard he’s been working, of how far he has come.
He’s not much for sharing, so I don’t know how all the attention his sister is getting is affecting him, if he feels overwhelmed by her continuing good fortune. I have to wonder if he’s disappointed that all this may never be his, and I feel guilty about my part in taking that away from him.
Submitted as part of Shell’s “Pour Your Heart Out” writing prompt at Things I Can’t Say. Please stop by to read the other posts, and give a little comment love.
14 thoughts on “Lost in translation”
I’m with Iceel
No two kids are the same. My sister is still dealing with crap from when we were teenagers because she couldn’t just be herself and my parents tried to hold us to the same standards.
You and your husband’s guidance with the Boy sounds perfect. I’m proud there are parents like you.
Parenting is rough. I have no magical advice, just some comment love so you know I’m still listening.
It’s so hard to know the right decisions to make as a parent. It sounds like you’re doing a great job, and I love that you are telling him that you’re proud. That will make a huge differnce in his life.
I agree it’s hard to see one child struggle and the other one coast with ease. It’s even harder when you can see that they notice those differences.
Stopping by from Shell’s PYHO.
I agree with Iceel. Exactly what he said.