The phone rang at 4a.m.
“Was it quick?”
“It was… peaceful.”
“We could’ve done more.”
“She was ready.”
“How could you know that?”
“She told me.”
“I’m not ready.”
“You have to let her go.”
Each submission to this weekend’s Trifextra starts with the same five words: “The phone rang at 4a.m.” The challenge is to complete the story in only 33 more.
20 thoughts on “Never”
Your image is so sad. And it’s true: I have never been ready, even when my mom was hanging on like a tooth about to fall out… when you truly love someone, it’s never time. Well done. I missed the directive that the “phone call” was to be the first line, so it’s in the middle, but I’ll share anyway.
Love the design of your blog, Tara, and the name as well! Peace, Amy Barlow Liberatore
These limited challenges create great first lines for a story. This would be one.
Great job! So much emotion!
This made my chest tighten, felt so real. The selfishness of not being ready for someone else to die, even when they are.
Tight, well-chosen, realistic words.
And the photo you chose with it, the dates making the person in their 20s? Haunting.
Very good job.
Came from the Trifextra linkup.
This was touching, deep, and covered the bases of a difficult conversation.
Nice colors and costumes, Tara. Quite an imaginative composition.
This says so much in so few words. I’m always at a loss for comments on trifecta entries because they’re so well written, “great write” seems trite.
Very, very nice. That picture is so sad. Lovely dialogue.
That image would fit into The Walking Dead….if Mattel wants to capitalize on the phenom of zombies, they can use your image as inspiration as a zombie Varbie 🙂
Besides that, great story. You craft two distinct characters With just dialogue
I’ve gotten this phone call twice. It hurts even in fictional print on your blog.
Great job getting the reaction/emotional punch