One particular afternoon, my brother and I ~ ages around 7 and 6 ~ were in the living room watching TV when we heard our dad yelling from somewhere near the front of the house.
“Who’s supposed to clean up after these damn dogs?”
My brother and I to this day have never learned to work together well. As kids, teamwork was out of the question and we had taken to trading off on this nasty little job. We started that back and forth, tennis match thing with our heads, trying to remember whose turn it was to clean up whatever one of our tiny doxie darlings had deposited on the floor.
The old man was still bellowing, so he and I took off running.
There Dad was, all 6’2” of the old man, standing splayed legs, hands on his hips, straddling a little doxie turd lying all alone on the hallway floor.
“I said, ‘who’s gonna clean this up’?”
My brother and I started the tennis match head sweep again and must have taken a little too long to own up to doody duty.
What happened next is still indelibly imprinted in my brain. My dad, my father, reached down, and bare-handed picked up that dog turd… then popped it into his mouth and began to chew.
It became deathly quiet, and I don’t think either my brother or I were able to keep our gaping mouths closed. I just knew that for my dad to do that, he was beyond reasonable mad, he was crazy angry and we were in some seriously deep shit.
Then… my mother began to laugh.
You see, despite the fact that my brother’s birthday is April 1, and his earlier-than-due-date delivery was the source of a running family joke (the grans hung up on our parents when Dad called on April Fool’s Day to tell them they had a new grandson), we are not a family that engages in practical jokes. This prank completely took us by surprise. We never saw it coming.
Dad had taken a Tootsie Roll and shaped it into a perfectly believable dachshund turd. We were totally fooled.
I can laugh now, but at the time it was very traumatic – NOT – it was probably the funniest thing my dad has ever done, ever!*
I would love to hear about the worst April Fool’s joke someone played on you, or the best one you pulled off… so share, come on, you know you want to.
Happy 50th Birthday Brother Dear
Daddy’s candy prank
Tootsie Rolls and doxie turds
Play it on your kids
Haiku Friday is hosted by Lou at LouCeeL.
*originally published 3/31/08 at IMSO