Trading kids for pets

There are many things I miss not having little kids around my house. I miss naps, and snuggles on the couch. I miss making couch cushion forts in the living room, and marathon cartoon afternoons. I even miss fingerpaints and glitter.

Having adult kids, and a semi-empty nest, I’ve been waxing nostalgic lately for the good ol’ days.

Then…

I remember some of the not so fun stuff. That usually happens when my two dogs, my surrogate children, do something that prompts me to scold them in the exact same way I did my kids.

So, in honor of Feb. NaBloPoMo, I made a list.

The TOP TEN things I said to my children, and now say to my pets…

1. Stop licking the couch.
2. Gawd, what dead thing did you roll in to smell like that?
3. You look guilty, what have you done?
4. Chew your food, don’t inhale it.
5. Don’t puke on the carpet!
6. Get out of the cat’s litter box, that’s not a toy.
7. Eww… did you just wipe your snotty face on my leg.
8. Dirt is not food.
9. Stop chewing on your toe nails.
10. Do not gnaw on my shoes.

I wonder if I can get the Labs to join me in a couch fort. They would probably eat the paints and glitter.