I had a moment in Target earlier this week. I feared having a total meltdown in the fitting room while trying on jeans.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve driven home in tears after clothes shopping. For women of a certain size, it can be an exercise in futility, and humiliation.
Damn you, fashion designers! Cruel bastages…
It’s no secret that for the past several months, I’ve been working towards a significant weight loss goal. I am this ][ close to that goal, but I seem to have reached my plateau. The scale needle has not moved in two weeks.
The steady drop leveled off, and I know why. I’ve been sabotaging my efforts. I got cocky and thought I could go back to eating whatever I wanted as long as I kept exercising.
Walking five miles a day burns off a lot of calories. Then again, sneaking jelly beans and M&Ms, noshing cookies and donuts, and chomping handfuls of potato chips, add up to a lot before you know it.
I call it the Conspiracy Law of Rotundity. The closer you approach weight loss goals, the more insidiously you conspire against yourself to achieve that goal.
E ⇒ mI(s) < J ⇑ m³(s)
(The energy expended to reach ideal solid mass is less than the impulse facilitating magnification of total solid mass.)
In an effort to break through my weight wall, I’m trying to bump up the burn. I’ve donned a weight vest and wrist weights during my morning walks. I should have incorporated weights from the beginning… Conspiracy Law.
(Aside: The vest is only eight pounds, but I can feel the drag of the extra weight. Eight pounds doesn’t sound like a lot, until you recognize that I have lost the equivalent of FIVE of those vests.)
I know that snacks and junk food are the antithesis to losing weight, yet I continue to bring temptation into the house … Conspiracy Law.
I exercise every morning, then have crullers for breakfast…. Conspiracy Law.
Drinking two full-sugar Cokes in a day instead of diet soda, unsweet tea or water… Conspiracy Law.
When a cup of plain frozen yogurt would do, adding sprinkles and fudge sauce… Conspiracy Law.
If I’m anything, I’m Law abiding.
Back to the fitting room.
(I call this, “burying the lede.”)
About the same time I started this stroll down Weight Loss Lane, I went clothes shopping. I was attending a concert and needed a new pair of dress pants. I had to get a size 18. That was one of those moment when I drove home in tears.
This week, I tried on, and fit into, a pair of size 10s. I haven’t fit into a size 10 since Reagan was President. This time the tears were because I broke the Law.
Thin spiral notebook 
Congrats. I wish we had run into each other this summer in fla or in Atlanta because deana has lost over 30 lbs and I’ve dropped over 10. We could have celebrated over something extremely fattening.
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So happy for you.
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Congrats, Tara! That has to be such an amazing feeling. I’m doing the same thing right now – I’ve been sabotaging myself all summer long, and it shows. I’m working on getting back on track because exercise alone doesn’t do it! So where’s the amazing photo of you? 🙂
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We can be anti-sabotage buddies and help keep each other honest. Once I make my goal weight, and I only have 10 pounds to go, I have a Before/After photo planned.
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Congrats! That’s a great, inspiring post! I always love to hear success stories (especially with some resistance thrown in), it gives me hope that I can lose weight, too.
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Dave Barry once wrote a column in which he said, “The most fun you can have while dieting is trying on pants.”
I used to walk two miles each way to the health club, where I would work out for an hour. On my was home, I’d stop at a deli and pick up an Italian sub for lunch. (Conspiracy Law) I finally realized it was counter-productive, so I stopped…going to the health club.
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Brilliant post – Congrats – love your conspiracy law – it’s so true. We all have a mole that undermines our efforts
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I have a terrible tendency to self-destruct, but hopefully I can break that habit this time.
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Good for you! That’s awesome.
Also I will add that they say diet soda in fact makes you crave MORE sugar, so it seems like the full sugar soda is okay. 🙂
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Then Barq’s it is! Thanks for the info and encouragement, Melisa… it’s good to see you here.
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🙂
I’m back. I may not comment every time but I’m reading. I’ve got’chu on my Bloglovin’ feed now so get used to me again. 🙂
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Yay!
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Wow – I know how excited you are – I am in the same category of Law Abiding 🙂 still have 20lbs to goal and have hit that plateau – getting my steam up to get back on the elliptical every morning and start seeing that needle on the scale move in the right direction – congrats – you are doing great! K
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Thanks, Kathleen. I am excited. I am so close to meeting my goal, and I can’t stop now.
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Felicidades, my friend! I used to fit into size 10s, too, but it must have been well before the Reagan Years, because I can’t remember. Here’s to breaking the law on a consistent basis!!
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I had to think about it for a while, but I was a size 10 in high school and early college… the Reagan years. That’s all the hint I’m giving for a timeline.
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No worries – you’ll get there and so will your body. Think how far you’ve come already, be so very proud and know you’ll reach your goal. Sometimes those last few pounds, like finding the just the perfect words to end a story or the final details on a piece of art can be elusive, but in the final throws of the work, when we’re nearing the end – we say this is good, but the real beauty was in the steps and dedication it took to reach the final piece.
AnnMarie 🙂
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I’ve worked so hard to get to this point, that I can’t give up. Thanks for the encouragement, AnnMarie.
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