Seating chart

We have assigned seats in my house.

Our son sits in the chair closest to the fireplace. The Mr. has the chair directly in front of the TV, and I have the right side of the couch, catty-wompus to Mr., so we can share an ottoman.

(Our daughter, since being gone so long at college, forfeited her seat and has to sit where she can, usually competing with the fur kids for space.)

That’s just how it is. I don’t like sitting in the menfolks’ chairs because they’ve wallowed out their own butt imprints, and it just feels, well, wrong. Like I’m trespassing.

It’s the same way at our parents’ houses.

My dad has a particular recliner and no one else sits in it. No one…

My step-dad’s chair is off-limits, even if he’s not home.

Occasionally, someone may park themselves in one of my in-laws’ chairs, but no words are needed when they want their seat back. Standing, staring, typically with a hot cup of coffee in their hands, works remarkably well

Seems we have infected our dogs with the same squatter mentality. If my domain is the right side of the couch, Hershey’s is the left.

When someone sits in her spot, say… my daughter or Asta, Hershey will sit at their feet staring up at them until they move. If that guilt maneuver doesn’t work, she lies on the floor between the couch and the coffee table, pouting and sighing heavily, until she gets her place back.

Asta doesn’t care where she sits, and constantly infringes on seating chart rules, feigning cluelessness over the trouble she causes. I think she and our daughter are plotting a coup.