Key to my heart

The bridal party settled at the head table, while the rest of the wedding guests filled in the other seats around the reception hall. Servers brought out dinner plates and poured goblets of wine and water.

As the empty dishes were removed, attendants rose to give their speeches toasting the newlyweds, my cousin Denise and her beloved Randy.

Beth, the groom’s best friend since childhood, was the first to address the assembly. A wireless mic in hand, she shared amusing anecdotes of their youthful escapades, high school angst and college adventures.

From the slurring of her words, we could all tell Beth was running high on liquid courage. When she confessed to believing that she and Randy should be the ones being honored, Denise’s faced darkened. Randy looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him.

A low murmur floated over the room, shock and disbelief at what Beth was saying. Not husband and wife a single day, and this bombshell exploded. Could a friendship heal from such a betrayal?

Sitting with our 85-year-old grandmother, I could only watch in horror as this train wreck happened.

Reaching her tantrum crescendo, Beth turned toward the smoldering couple, “I guess I won’t need this anymore.”

With a jarring ping of metal against glass, Beth threw a spare door key to the groom’s apartment into the cut crystal bowl adorning the wedding table.

As she made her way back to her seat, every unmarried woman in the hall stood. Chairs scraping against the linoleum, high heels tapping out an accusatory staccato, one by one, they walked forward and threw their keys into the bowl too.

Denise was the first to realize they had been pranked when grandma tottered her way to the front of the hall to deliver her key offering to the couple.

*I took a few liberties with names, and one or two details, but this actually happened at my cousin’s wedding reception. One of the best ‘punks’ I’ve ever seen. Once the couple realized it was all a joke, they sat back and enjoyed the laugh.