After the initial determination, I read everything I could find. All that did was to scare me even more. One dire prognosis after another, stripping away every strand of hope from my grasp.
Since then, it’s been a book you read in reverse, so you understand less as the pages turn.
At first, other than his father, there was no one to talk with, no one I thought would understand. I feared that every one would look at him differently, treat him differently. So I said nothing. Even now, only a few trusted friends have been told.
He did changed. Not in a way you could say it was A or B, but in the way he reacted to a deviation in his routine, or by something odd he’d say that didn’t seem to fit the situation. Then there was the pacing, and sleepless nights.
Initially, I didn’t know how to help him. There was no magic pill, no big words to say, no waving of hands over him. There were no rules. This was never going to be a clean fight. There was no going back, only the unknown going forward.
What I did know is that I love him, unconditionally. I also know I can’t change his future, only be there to ease his way.
Oh, and I know I need to stop reading…
For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week, Kurt challenged me with “Since then, it’s been a book you read in reverse, so you understand less as the pages turn.” – The Shins, “Pink Bullets.” and I challenged Alyssa Reyans with “Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.” – Calvin and Hobbs
Trifecta, a weekly one-word prompt, challenges writers to use that word in its third definition form, using no less than 33 words or no more than 333. The week’s prompt is: Clean [adj. \ˈkleen] 3 c: observing the rules: fair
For Story Dam, an online writing community offering weekly and monthly writing prompts. This week’s theme is: Free Write!
20 thoughts on “In reverse”
You really captured the emotional exhaustion of it, whatever ‘it’ is. The research and reading a person can do, as if knowing enough about something will solve the problem, until all the stats and facts blur together.
too much knowledge can be a dangerous thing. This is heartbreaking, so much tension, so much emotion.
Love that prompt. Great job with it
You’re describing a really traumatic time in you life and it’s coming across good.
Really outstanding write, Tara!
I LOVE THIS. Brilliant in every way! Bravo!!!
You could be describing my son, especially that ‘going day to day’ part.
A therapist once told me that, early on in my explorations into being okay. Stop reading. Fortunately she didn’t mean everything, only self-help, pop psychology stuff. I haven’t read any since. Brilliant advice.
I love this piece, it broke my heart.
I enjoyed the story and am impressed by how you weaved two challenges into one seamlessly.
we want so much to KNOW that we read, read, read until we KNOW TOO MUCH! Yes, stop reading and just enjoy. 🙂
I saw your prompt and was really jealous. I like that song so much.
There’s such deep sentiment and heart here. very well written Tar rah.