With all my nostalgia over childhood July 4th celebrations, I got homesick for Tennessee. I’m headed back this weekend for our family reunion, an annual tradition of more than 80 years.
Apparently, so may my estranged brother ~ my only sibling. Someone who I’ve gone years without speaking to or seeing. Over the last several months we’ve attempted to mend our tenuous relationship via emails.
There is resistance on my part because I don’t want to be hurt again. I worry there is resistance on his part because whatever his issue was, he won’t address it. I’m hoping for a reconciliation.
The 100 Word Challenge, a writing prompt created by Velvet Verbosity, takes a single theme to tell a story in only 100 words ~ no more, no less. This week’s theme is ‘Resistance.’
Thin spiral notebook 
I have a similar problem. My sister broke all ties with me by email. It started with a back & forth email debate between my younger brother & me about visiting my parents. It progressed to a cryptic, verbal assault on Facebook by my sister & brother. I choose to opt out of FB to diffuse the situation & step back to examine it as well as my contribution to the problem. I really don’t think this is about the messages that were exchange, but rather an accumulation of negative feelings & poor communication over years.
Although I feel that there’s no logical reason why she disowned me (especially since she hasn’t even spoken to me about this issues), I’m sure in my sister’s mind it makes sense to her. However, I feel betrayed & have obviously been blind to the extent of malice being exchange between my brother & sister towards me. I thought we were raised as a family with unconditional love. Yes, we might have our squabbles but we were there for each other from cradle to grave. This turn of events is unbelievable to me.
While I’m struggling trying to understand this. I already know there will be resistance to reconcile on my part because I don’t want to be hurt again. Although I never wanted this breach between us, I simply cannot handle going do this road again & being rejected by my siblings. I’m not sure it’s worth the emotional toll. Plus I question whether I can trust them to maintain boundaries; show honor & respect towards each other; stop nursing grudges & rehashing the past; & most important quit trying to prove whose the guilty party & hold ourselves accountable for our own actions. I’m honestly not sure whether I’m emotionally capable to reconcile. Likewise I’m not sure it’s in the best interest & beneficial for everyone involved.
I received an anonyms text message that speaks volumes ~ May Jesus, who knew firsthand the hassles & the joy of life as a sibling, guide you along the way. Tara, I pray this helps you heal and reconcile. God bless you! I sincerely hope your 4th of July reunion brought you happiness and closure.
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So sad when siblings, or any members of a family, become estranged. I have a sister who I don’t speak to often, and I wish we could find a way to meet each other more often on common ground. Namely, sisterhood.
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It can be tough to reconcile even when you know what the issue is. My sister and I aren’t on speaking terms because sometimes she is really mean to our mother. Whenever she snaps at Mom for no good reason at a family gathering, I can’t really help but say something about it. So, we fight and then we don’t talk for months on end.
I hope you and your brother mend your relationship.
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My cousin is here visiting from Ohio – she and I have been sharing many stories of such family dynamics. I feel this with you. Hope the visit goes well.
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Tara this piece reminds me so much of the relationship I have with my brother. We are just so very different, and always have been. We’ve had fights and fallouts and anger and hostility most of our adult life. I don’t agree with his beliefs and lifestyle, and he doesn’t agree with mine. He, too, is angry and distant from everyone.
I wish you the best for your weekend reunion.
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I love that you put a non-fiction spin on the topic this week. I’ve been playing around with the same, but I don’t know if I’m ready for the fallout from the real lifers who read my blog.
I really hope you and your brother come to a reconciliation that brings you both peace.
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I completely relate to this. My brother and I aren’t really speaking. Part of the issue was his wife who he is now separated from and soon to be divorced from. I wonder if our relationship will improve…
good luck and have a good trip
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i am crossing my fingers! and sending lots of good vibes & thoughts! xo
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