“Love is blind, but desire just doesn’t give a good goddamn”
~ James Thurber
I’m not gonna lie, when my husband and I met, I was hot. Tall, thin, really thin, and ready for love.
Even though we dated for three years before we married, I knew (he knew), after only six months that we would eventually get married. We said we wanted to wait until we both graduated. The real reason was we were both poor white kids and there was no way we could have survived on Kraft mac-n-cheese, ramen and Chef Boy-ar-dee ravioli for three years.
Even now I won’t eat any of those college staple foods.
Back in the day, I had the metabolism of a hummingbird and had no problems staying svelte, regardless of how many ten-baggers with cheese or pitchers of beers I consumed. I guess walking across campus was good for more than transportation.
During those early years together, in word and deed, my husband made me feel beautiful.
Now, a quarter of a century later, I am no longer svelte. I think I’ve even shrunk and inch or two. The woman I see in the mirror no longer even vaguely resembles the girl I once was.
The funny thing though, I truly believe when my husband looks at me, he still sees that girl he once knew. I’m not 40+ pounds heavier, not grey née blonde, not the aged mother of two… I am that hot college coed that was such a bad influence on a studious young man.
If I could only learn to see myself again through his eyes ~ in word and deed to him I am still beautiful.