When my kids were young, young enough that they still took naps in the afternoon, I would sometimes go into their room to watch them sleep. Hearing their quiet snuffles was reassuring. I would often gently touch the soft fontanel on the top of their head so I could feel their heart beat.
Now, they are 30 and 26 so poking them in the head while they sleep would just be creepy.
But…
With this pandemic demanding continual social distancing, many people are still working from home. My Mister is around a lot. He does work remotely, but most nights – or very early mornings – he goes into the office while no one else is there then comes home and sleeps during the day.
It’s strange having him home so much, even stranger that most of the time he’s here, he’s not awake.
So strange, that I find myself standing in the doorway of our bedroom, staring into the darkness trying to hear him breathe. I don’t go as far as checking for a heartbeat, but I will take several minutes to make sure I hear his telltale snore before I go back to my own work.
These are strange days, indeed.
Thin spiral notebook 
It has always been like that with my boyfriend, looking for the telltale signs he’s just sleeping (when he does sleep, health problems make it so he’s got insomnia, chronic fatigue, and restless leg syndrome, so one sign he’s asleep is his arm or leg moving.). Sometimes with my kids’ father, too (20 years together before breaking up).
But I remember and cherish the nights with my little ones, laying next to them or standing at their doorway, listening to hear them breathe or see their little chests rise and fall. It’s hard to believe they used to be that small, on the eve of the youngest’s 15th birthday, and eve of the eve of the eve of the other’s 24th. Now to know my son (the 15 year old) is asleep, I just need to listen at his door for his snore. Still captures a mother’s heart, every time.
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I’ve watched Hubby sleep on the settee numerous times when he’s had a bad night, and it’s reassuring to see the gentle rise and fall of his chest or the occasional snuffle.
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Reassuring is it, just need a sign he’s okay.
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Yep.
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