Stating the obvious

“So, we’re not even mentioning the elephant in the room?”

Chris, the baby, was the family troublemaker.

“I’m more concerned with Nonie right now.” Patrick, the second-born, was the people-pleaser.

“Of course you are,” Chris mumbled.

“I’m more concerned with why there is a dead body buried under the leaves in the backyard.”

Being the first-born, it was left to me to sort out the others’ messes.

“And, there’s the elephant.” Chris shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, and walked around the corpse, careful not to actually touch it.

“You’re a master at stating the obvious.” I bent down to inspect the body, pulling Chris out of the way.”

“Don’t touch it!” Patrick could be so melodramatic. “You two could contaminate the crime scene.”

“Perhaps you should go inside, Pat, and see to Nonie.” I put a cajoling hand on Patrick’s shoulder, and eased him toward the house. “I’ll take care of this.”

“You can’t move this by yourself,” Chris nudge the body with his foot.

“I have no intention of trying,” I said. “Please, tell me you had nothing to do with this.”

“Me?” Chris laughed. “I’m hurt that you would think such a thing.”

“Hurt or not, you didn’t answer the question.” I pulled away some of the dry leaves, looking for anything that would identify the corpse.

“As much of a diva that Patrick is, you probably should leave it alone.” Chris had out his phone, keying in the number for the local police. “Hey, Darlene. No baby, this isn’t a personal call. Can you get Roger over to my ma’s house? Thanks sugar, I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, if not you, where did he come from?” Chris joined me back on the patio, both of us just staring at the mystery body.

“I have no idea,” Chris opened the sliding glass door that led into the house.

“Is Pat still in there with Nonie?” I peered over his shoulder into the dark living room.

“Looks like he took her back to her room,” Chris said, closing the door. “Hopefully he got her to lie down, gave her one of her blue pills.”

“Darlene will know to tell Roger no sirens or lights, right”

“Don’t worry, she’s a pro.”

I couldn’t stifle the laugh that statement provoked.

“What I don’t get, is how did someone dump it here without anyone noticing.” Chris once again stated the obvious. “I mean, it won’t even fit through the gate. There’s no break in the fence, how’d it get here?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” I heard the police car pull up in front of the house. “I just want to know how to get it out without setting off the nosy neighbors.”

“It’s an elephant, dude,” Chris said. “Having the po’ here is the least of our worries. Someone dumped a dead elephant in our yard.”