Phoebe helped the squirming Nash out of his car seat. Without looking back the boy ran towards the playground and his father. Trey’s fiancée, Coral, was standing beside him, her periwinkle blue eyeshadow flashing like neon.
A sour lump formed in Phoebe’s throat. She knew this day was coming, but didn’t expect to feel so angry. Trey’s girlfriends were never around long. He had a revolving door of trashy women. This was different. She didn’t want to share her son with Coral.
She wouldn’t cry. Trey would think the tears were for him, and she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
Thin spiral notebook 
Really emotional. I could really feel her emotions. I enjoyed this piece a lot. ^ ^
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The neon grabbed me. It was real.
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Love the emotion in this. I like how you describe the lump in her throat as “sour.”
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Ouch. I feel for her and feel like I know her right off the bat, which is great work. Looking forward to more characters
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Nice. Tight, emotion-packed, and with just enough detail to light the scene!
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An emotionally simulating piece… Very well written. I feel for the main lead!
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