The day was grey and sad the first time I saw you. Rain drenched, you stood to one side, cut off from the rest of the wet, bus fare herd. Your face cast back the sky’s mean mien.
Dark forecast
My journal of big words and pretty pictures
My journal of big words and pretty pictures
The day was grey and sad the first time I saw you. Rain drenched, you stood to one side, cut off from the rest of the wet, bus fare herd. Your face cast back the sky’s mean mien.
Thin spiral notebook 
Nicely done – very evocative language.
(Also, you have a great future writing Country songs!)
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Such buildup and aniticipation in those word… loved the tension never breaking.
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your final line casts the mien 🙂
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Loved it. “Bus fare herd” certainly paints a picture.
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“Lemmings” had too many syllables.
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These challenges are fun because they force you to rework phrases and words. I think the substitution strengthened it considerably!
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A great take on the prompt. Like others, I love ‘mean mien’
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I also like mean mien – great descriptions!
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This is a novel’s first line if I’ve ever read one. I love the word choices.
My favorite one so far.
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That would be a good beginning for a novel or a story.
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Loved the play on words, it told a whole story with just two words.
Plus the picture was a perfect depiction of what I felt when I read it.
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Oh, I like “mean mien”! And the expression this description gives me.
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