I want to be happy. That sort of blissful abandon that makes everyone around you sick of your annoying perkiness.
It’s not that I’m ungrateful or unappreciative of what I have. I am unbelievably fortunate in so many ways, and I am truly thankful for that.
But there are riptides of stress and worry roiling beneath my smiles – sleepless nights and foggy days. Fear for the future – for me, for our children, our family. So much uncertainty, and so much that’s out of our control.
I want to be sunshine yellow, when instead I am thunderstorm blue.