I want to be happy. That sort of blissful abandon that makes everyone around you sick of your annoying perkiness.
It’s not that I’m ungrateful or unappreciative of what I have. I am unbelievably fortunate in so many ways, and I am truly thankful for that.
But there are riptides of stress and worry roiling beneath my smiles – sleepless nights and foggy days. Fear for the future – for me, for our children, our family. So much uncertainty, and so much that’s out of our control.
I want to be sunshine yellow, when instead I am thunderstorm blue.
Thin spiral notebook 
At the risk of being twee: “Life’s not about avoiding the storms, its about learning to dance in the rain”. Great photo!
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Beautiful shot! I hope you’re back to sunshine yellow in no time! I’m a worrier too, but I once heard that fear is the opposite of faith. So those times I’m feeling crushed by worry? I try to remember to hand it over to God and have faith : )
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You may be thunderstorm blue but perhaps that’s good because your photo is wonderful and who knows what yellow might look like! The thing about worry is, unless it’s about something you can influence, it’s not doing you any good. So if you can influence whatever you’re worried about, then do it. And if you can’t then quit worrying, what will be will be andyou’ll deal with it then. Trust me!
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First, that is a beautiful photo. Second, the older that I get the more I realize that God made me the way that I am for a reason. At times I really wish that I was more of a “yellow” person and not the “blue/gray” person that I am. I am coming to peace that I am this way and that is okay. It makes the times when I am “yellow” all that more special. I have also realized that even when I am “blue/gray”, I am not always sad but in an extreme sensitive mode. Able to see things and feel things that many people don’t.
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