Hubs was TDY last week, and the week before. For those whose spouses or parents have been in the military, you know that means “temporary duty.” He was gone for 13 days, and I talked with him every day, but his absence was unquestionably felt.
Even though I don’t sleep as well as I do with him at home, I actually looked forward to this little alone time.
We’ve been married long enough that being apart has its good points. The old adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder” works for us. Being together all the time can take a toil on a relationship. We both have outside interests and friends, but we spend an inordinate amount of time together, so these small reprieves can be a welcome break.
I know this might come as a shock, but I can get on a person’s last nerve sometimes. No, really! I can be insanely annoying, and a tiny bit of a nag. Oh yeah, I am a consummate slob, and obsessively punctual.
Hubs snores ~ OH. MY. GOD! like a friggin’ freight train. That man has the teething gnashing habit of always being right, and knowing far more than I do… about everything. And, he’s a huffer. A passive-aggressive sigher. Sometimes I just want to take a ball peen hammer to my forehead. I’ve been known to strangle my cell in effigy after getting off the phone with him.
With Hubs gone, I can fold clothes and wash dishes when the time suits me. I can even leave wet towels in the bathroom, picking them up AFTER I’m done getting ready in the morning and not immediately after stepping out of the shower. I can leave all the lights on and the bedroom door open. Oh, the freedom!
While he’s gone Hubs doesn’t have to worry about me being too cold and can set his AC to whatever degree of winter he wants. He can watch any sports program and know I won’t try to switch it over to “Castle” or “Bones” the first chance I get. If he has to wash clothes while he’s gone, he knows he can hang up his dress shirts still warm from the dryer and not find them wadded up in the bottom of the laundry basket, wrinkled and unrecognizable. And he can sleep through the night without me
punching nudging him in the back or shoving gently rolling him onto his side trying to stop the train noises. Ah… peace and quiet.
The Man and I sometimes need some apart time to miss each other’s idiosyncrasies, and to really appreciate our together moments.
*From the Vault of IMSO; updated and edited. First published Oct. 14 2008,
6 thoughts on “While the cat’s away”
Bobina went on a girls trip to Orlando this summer with her friend. She was gone for 3 days. I was miserable emotionally but the physical freedom of doing stuff how you want to do it is cool, for a day. Then, you need the routine you complain about, back.
You? Get on HIS nerves? Don’t admit to that! 🙂 We women need to keep an upper hand in our marriages!
In all seriousness, I totally get it. My hubby works shifts. He hates the night shift. I love it. It’s the one week out of the month that I can sleep in the whole bed and not just on the little 6-inch space near the edge.
“whatever degree of winter he wants.” – hilarious!
My guy has spent close to 3 months away this summer leaving me alone on the boat. On most nights I lay in bed waiting for him to show up, which he won’t of course. And I hear ya – sleeping without the snoring and that freight train has been a blessing.
When he comes back I’ll have to announce to him “sorry honey, the boat routine has changed, we no longer let the radio play on talk radio all day long while you sleep and nap.”
Sigh. Parts of me are already looking forward to missing him again!
I hear echoes of another long standing relationship. I miss it.
Time away from each other is necessary for a good relationship, as far as I’m concerned. It’s a healthy little break from one another. Enjoy!
love this…it is so true! I was married from 1955 until 2009 and yes; “space” is necessary sometimes.
But, of course, you would not trade him for the world.