“You get the popcorn and sodas, and I’ll set up the TiVo,” kneeling in front of his new DVD recorder, the minor demon looked more like he was genuflecting before an electronic altar than trying to record a television broadcast.
His companion, carrying a bowl of burnt mushroomed kernels and mugs of flat root beer, put the snacks on the coffee table. Sitting on the sofa, she thumbed through the TV guide to get the channel number. “Tell me again why we’re recording the debate if we’re already watching it?”
“It’s history, babe,” taking the guide from her, he read off the station codes. “This should be the best one yet.”
A quick click of remote control buttons, and a red light blinked on the DVD display. A massive, monster head, adorned with curving black horns, came into view. As the anchor fiend droned on about the day’s news, a scroll message trailed across the bottom of the screen: “Tonight: the first debate of Apocalypse 2013. God vs. Satan. Who will win the election? Tune in at 9!”
Crossing her arms, then her legs, the female demon leaned back into the cushions as she put her feet up on the table, heaving a bored sigh. “I’m just tired of them, it’s all the same thing every year.”
He lost his balance and fell over when he turned sharply to look at her. “What the Hell? Are you kidding? This is epic, the Great Prince of the Netherworld is all over that goody-goody this time. These recordings’ll be priceless once he wins and banishes all those foul, pasty wimps.”
She just shook her head and dropped her feet to the floor. Leaning forward, she looked around the room then lowered her voice so the other demon had to strain to hear her.
“I’m not so sure he is winning,” she immediately covered her mouth with her hand.
“How can you say that? The Prince has taken away everything from the pawn, who will break soon, and that’ll mark a decisive victory.” The male demon had crawled toward the couch, speaking in a low, but urgent voice.
“But, don’t you see,” she said, almost pleading, “The pawn hasn’t broken. He’s still determined to praise his deity. He’s lost his family and friends, his wealth, his health, everything, and nothing has made him curse God. Even you have to admit that’s impressive devotion.”
Rubbing his hands over his face, the male demon stood up, jabbing a taloned finger at his companion, “you better be careful what you say next. I won’t ignore blatant heresy. His Evilness is all-powerful and he will win!”
The female picked up a mug, slowly sipping its contents. Holding the glass between two hands, she swished her words around in her mouth, carefully thinking through her response.
“Maybe you should be careful what you say,” turning her head slightly to look up at him, she gave him a skewed stare. “If this turns out how I think it will, it’s you who should worry. I know what I’m going to do.”
Setting down her glass, she confidently made an odd pattern in the air with two fingers and thumb of her right hand – touching her forehead, then heart, and finally both shoulders.
He would swear later that was when her lovely red skin began to fade to a ghastly human pink.
I gave Eric Storch this prompt: “I know a way to stay friends forever, There’s really nothing to it, I tell you what to do, And you do it” ~ Shel Silverstein You don’t have to use the actual quote.