In looking back over my last few weeks of posts, the majority of them seem, well, kinda dark. Especially over the past several months, I have been focusing more on my fiction writing. I’ve been active in some writing groups and using those weekly prompts to act as my muse. I don’t think it’s necessarily that the prompts are particularly maudlin, it’s apparently my interpretation.
I read the prompt, and think about my first impression… then voilà… madness and mayhem. Most recently I’ve touched on sexual harassment in the workplace, domestic violence, toxic friendships, and in a non-fiction piece – cat enemas.
(for all who have asked – and thank you for your concern – I’m fine, my marriage is fine, life is fine, and my cat is feeling better.)
Not exactly what you could call light reading. The only posts that are not depressing – at least not intentionally – are my photos.
When I started posting in My Notebook, it was because my former blog had gotten so damn depressing. Everything had become so ‘woe is me’ that I hated even opening the page. I guess the biggest difference here, is that all this bleak writing is fiction. A saving grave, I suppose, is that even with these serious themes, I try to interject a glimmer of hope, or survival, or at least some hint of levity.
Trying to force my writing to be anything less than organic, seems wrong. Doesn’t that sound so pretentious… “I have to let the words come as they may.” (that must be spoken with a slightly breathy tone and a really bad British accent, with the back of your hand held dramatically to your forehead.)
Still, I don’t want to ATTEMPT to write in a contrived manner. I think it would be obvious what I was doing, and it would read stilted and hollow. Most importantly, I would feel I was just going through the motions. I don’t want to do that. Even if I’m writing total fiction – and a lot of my writing has some trace of truth to it – I want it to seem real. That the event or situation could actually happen.
I admire so many writers whose prose are transforming. They are lyrical and magical. That’s not me either. Anytime I’ve tried to be deep, and abstract, it comes across as something sad and sophomoric. My brain doesn’t work that way, and trying to write in someone else’s style is almost physically painful.
My writing may never find any other outlet than this space, but I still want it to be genuine to me.
Submitted as part of Shell’s “Pour Your Heart Out” writing prompt at Things I Can’t Say. Please stop by to read the other posts, and give a little comment love.
Thin spiral notebook 
You being you — genuine — is why I come back day after day.
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The important thing is that you are writing. I can very seldom tell the muse what to do. It comes as it comes, and I’m grateful for that, even if it’s dark. It’s when nothing comes at all that I really get dark.
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It’s hard not to be constantly writing negative, or sad. I know I feel better after I’ve written through my hard time, it helps me let it out, clear my mind & look at it differently! Keep being you!
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I never think your writing is depressing. The problems of the world are ever present. Your writing may reflect some of them back, but not to add depression, but to change,
Robin
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Aaaand, don’t you DARE change a thing (sorry, didn’t mean to shout) I love you and this blog just the way yous are 🙂
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As someone who always (almost) writes dark, I can appreciate this. My blog is the one space where I am free to let those thoughts fly and fly they do. I love your writing, whether fictional or not because it touches me, it makes me think and yearn for more. It opens doors within myself that I need to have opened. Don’t ever stop that.
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We could all drive ourselves crazy trying to emulate some of our favorite writers. It’s easy to forget that why we love them is because they’re unique! I’ve also had people think that I’m walking around angry when I write venting posts or things on the darker side, but I’m with you; these are things that belong in the blog. Write what you want. As a reader, that’s all I want from you.
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I think I write a lot of posts where I’m being negative or dark. It’s probably b/c that sort of material gives me more to say than saying “Oh, we had such a fun afternoon! We baked cookies and watched the Polar Express! Yay!”
You know? It’s the struggles that I need to work out in my writing, not really the happy/easy.
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Good for you. You need to be comfortable in your own skin, so to speak, in order to write from the heart. When I read your stuff, I take it for what it is. When you write fiction pieces that are dark, I admire you for being able to go to that dark place and put it to words. (That’s not something everyone can do.) But I don’t see that darkness as what you are all about. It’s one piece of you, one portion of your many creative talents, just like your ability to bring color, beauty and life to your photos is a piece of you.
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I think my family and friends (people who think they;’re my friends) have stopped reading my blog. Everyone thinks I’m suicidal or Bobina and I are bad or I’m unhappy. None of those things are true. I just write what I write. It’s like a baseball manager telling his 5’10” 175 lb Centerfielder to hit homeruns when he’s a speed and defense guy.
I think you’re one of the finest writers I;ve ever read. The fact we’ve become friends is a bonus. Keep doing what you’re doing. We both like to write dark, well I do, and it seems to work for us.
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I knew that out of all my bloggy friends, you would understand what I was saying here. There is a Lord Byron quote: “If I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad.” Writing is my therapy.
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