Notes from the road

Taking a long weekend to visit the kinfolk in Tennessee, and as they say in the south, “it’s hot as blue blazes.” Which translates into it’s hot as hell, and I’m living in shorts, even more so than back in Florida.

Being that I am interacting with more people in public here than I am at home, and because I am for all intents and purposes representin’, I feel like I should be more socially acceptable than I usually am. This translates into me shaving my legs more in the last three days than I have in the last three weeks.

On finding unacceptable music on the car stereo:

Driving through West Knoxville, The Boy was searching through the channels on the car radio…

“Is Tennessee part of the Bible Belt,”  he asked after finding the umpteenth religious music station.

“Oh, sweetie we are the Buckle.”

“I can’t stand all these white people songs on the radio!”

“Hate to tell you, but we’re in the White People Heartland.”

*grumble* “Cracker music!”

Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up…

“Finally! I don’t even like this song, but I’ll take it.”

I still hear “you look just like your Mom!”

Only now, instead of cringing, I merely reply, “yes, I do, and thank you,” and mean it.

We don’t travel often, but I’ve been in enough hotel rooms to know that the carpet shouldn’t be sticky.

I am much too acclimated to the Central Time zone. Sunset should NOT be at 9 p.m.

I can’t be aggravated about having to drive the entire eight hours if I don’t ask The Boy if he wants to take a turn. He’s not a mind reader either.

I hate it when he uses my own material against me.

Be sure to check the cold setting on your hotel room frig, or you’ll come back from a day out to find a frozen soda explosion inside from ruptured cans.

I’ve learned that when tripping back to your hometown, the world doesn’t end if you don’t stay at the ‘rents house, and when they live in Bum-Fuzzle Egypt and shun the Internet, finding a hotel (and that’s pronounced HO-tel) with free WiFi equals *two thumbs up*

When road trippin’ it’s important to find all the Interstate accessible Wal-Marts, Krispy Kreme bakeries, and bookstores.

Traveling with a teen is immensely easier than a toddler, but you still have to bring plenty of toys (cell phone, iPad), extra changes of clothes and tons of snacks, and headphones will be your best friend.

9 thoughts on “Notes from the road

  1. These are really funny; I love the “voice” in your writing, always. I could relate to much of these!

    I let Kyle drive for about 45 minutes when we were in California; that was enough (he does NOT brake as soon as I would like him to, so it was stressful). Fortunately, though, he never slept while I drove (incidentally–not planned or anything), and that helped me keep alert.


  2. Since losing weight, and as I age, I look more and more like my mother. It’s….interesting.
    The radio conversation sounds exactly like something my son would say….or my husband, come to think of it.
    Sticky carpet is scary!


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