Dear hunter

deer pellets

Family jokester
That’s what she said, yo’ mama
Inappropriate

Submitted to Haiku Friday for LouCeeL

As I get older, or more accurately, as my children (read:son) get older, my sense of humor degenerates to that of a 12-year-old boy. That is, it’s totally inappropriate.

I get it naturally. My dad has a wicked sense of humor, quite ribald at times. Even the deer that populate the woods near his home are rude and irreverent.

My dad is a life-long hunter. When I was growing up, he often provided venison, water fowl, even rabbit for our family dinner table. Now, he is more of a target shooter. On the back of his property he has set up several shooting stations. One, a large wooden frame, is for posting paper targets, often with a deer silhouette.

As you can see in the indicated circle, the deer are not impressed with his hunting prowess. That pile of pellets directly in front of the target frame, is their way of saying, “you ain’t gonna do shit.”

  1. I like a deer with a bit of attitude, don’t you? 😉

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    1. The two deer we spooked when we were at my dad’s over the holidays, were big. I wouldn’t want to tick them off. Poo would be the least of our worries.

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      1. Amen to that, for sure.

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  2. One of my favorite pranks in Colorado was to take a city slicker hiking in the back country, get way ahead of them, and pile about forty Milk Duds right in the middle of the trail. Then, I’d stop there and stare down at them until my buddy showed up.

    THEM: “What’s that?”

    ME: “I’m not sure. It’s either elk or deer scat. They say you can tell by the taste.”

    Then, I’d reach down, grab a good handful and pop them in my mouth while my compatriot back peddles and makes sounds of horror. To end the joke, I would produce the Milk Duds box from my pocket and hold it out, asking, “Want some?”

    I’ve had dirt thrown at me. It’s worth it.

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    1. That is very similar to a prank my dad played on my brother and me when we were kids, with a Tootsie Roll made to look like a dachshund turd. Traumatizing at the time, but now, hilarious.

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      1. Some very messed up, very fun people I used to know would bake a Kitty Litter Cake with the same concept.

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