“You can be so annoying.” She slammed her brush down on the vanity, jars of lotion and power bouncing from the repercussion. “All I wanted to do was spend a quiet evening together, take in a nice comedy. But, no! You have to turn it into an ordeal every time.”
He leaned against the door jamb, watching her tantrum with clear amusement. A patronizing smirk on his face, he casually cleaned under his nails while she vented her spleen.
“It’s just a movie,” he said, finally looking up at her.
“It’s not just a movie,” she said, throwing her brush at him. “I’m sick of all this zombie crap. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a zombie!”
Deftly dodging her missile, he shrugged and stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets.
“You used to love zombie movies,” he said, making no effort to keep the laughter out of his voice.
“That was before you kept up a running commentary through every one.” She picked up a jar, hefting it in her hand, deciding how hard to throw it. “I am so sick of hearing you say, ‘I know him,’ or ‘that’s not how I would do it’.”
“Hollywood keeps getting it wrong,” he said, eyeing the jar in case she aimed it at his head. “I can’t let the inconsistencies go unchallenged.”
“Fine, write a letter, but shut up during the movie. No one likes a know-it-all,” she sat the jar down. “Besides, you’re the only zombie I love.”
Seeing that she disarmed herself, he came over to hug her. Her left ear dropping off as he ran his decayed fingers through her dirty, tangled hair.
“Why don’t we stay in,” he said, gently kissing her dented forehead. “I know another zombie you love. I’ll make us some drinks, and we can snuggle on the couch.”
“You old undead sweetheart,” she said, patting him on his tattered backside. “Make mine with blood orange juice.”
*My husband is an Air Force brat. When he was younger, his family lived on several U.S. and European bases. He claims, that at one time, he could identify a military plane by the sound of its engines. In college he earned his degree in aerospace engineering (Hey Mom! I did marry a rocket scientist!), and for the whole of his professional career has worked for the Air Force.
His expertise with air craft has created an annoying by-product in that whenever we watch a television show, or movie, that features any sort of military plane, he will comment on how it’s not the right plane for a particular war, or era. He’ll correct the identification, or make some other sort of remark about inaccuracies.
It’s both a running joke with us, and incredibly irritating.
That made me wonder how the undead felt about the recent zombie trend in TV and cinema. Would they do the same thing, comment on how authentically they are portrayed?
Thin spiral notebook 
Totally loved this!
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This got me to laugh haha
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You can’t swing a cat without hitting a zombie. Truer words have never been spoken. I loved your take on the prompt, Tara. Zombie lovin’. Thanks for linking up.
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This is a great take on the prompt. Funny with a side of sweet. 🙂
I’m always saying “I wouldn’t have written it that way. I would’ve … blah, blah, blah” during movies. I’m sure Hubs would like to throw a jar at my head from time to time.
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I agree with Melissa’s comment. Your funny take really was interesting. I like the multiple meaning around the words. Because we’re both word nerds.
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Love the photo! Never thought of looking at movies from a Zombie’s point of view. Nice way of humanizing the undead!
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Love your writing style! I’m with you – so not into the zombie trend. But on the commercial, I do like the way the zombie says “cool, coo-coo-cool” – makes me laugh picturing him pre-zombie as some slimy sales guy 🙂 Maybe I just worked with too many of those slimy sales guy types back in my corporate days!
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I love the zombie trend, but then again, I adore horror. Loved your take on this. Made me giggle and zombies rarely do that.
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My daughter loves horror movies too. Me, not so much. But I am highly suggestable. I can still convince myself there are monsters under my bed and in the closet.
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You know you’re a writer when….
This was really out of the box and so good. I love the way you weave in things like “disarmed” that make you wonder if he meant the jar or if her arm literally fell off. Zombies are prone to do that. 😉
I have to say that I am not a fan of the new commercial where the zombie asks about the phone plan. I, like Kir, don’t like zombies and it totally freaks me out. LOL.
I could see this being a movie. I probably would pass on it, but I can see the trailer in my head. (shivers).
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That commercial creeps me out too. What brain thought zombies would sell cell phone plans? I’m ready for the undead trend to be over, that and vampires.
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I love thinking of old, married zombies. Sort of.
I don’t like zombies or vampires , I like wizards. 😉
but this was great, (and with all the talk from all the rocket scientists about the movie “Gravity” lately…(just this morning I heard that one is saying that “her hair would stick out to the right not the left in space” ) I’m quite sure you get a running commentary every once in a while too?
you make everything fun and creative .
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I’m not a zombie fan either, or any sort of horror movies. The only zombie movie I’ve liked was “Shaun of the Dead,” and only because it was so ridiculously funny. The MR and I already decided to not see “Gravity” and part of it is because I know we both would pick up on errors that would ruin the movie for us.
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