Epidemic proportions

~ Tara R.

Industrial stapler

There is currently no proven vaccine, no federal funding for medical research, and no media onslaught of concerned scientists. Nevertheless, the condition is a troubling and widespread epidemic.

Seemingly limited to a narrow generation and gender demographic – young males ages 14 to 25 – the complaint crosses all socio-economic boundaries, affecting several ethnic and cultural classifications, but is particularly prevalent in American youths.

Anecdotal evidence shows questionable results from varying treatments, and reported relapses are common in a majority of cases.

While controversial, a promising new and cost-effective application for alleviating Gluteus Maximus Crevice Exposure is an industrial stapler.

The 100 Word Challenge is to tell a story in only 100 words. This week’s theme is ‘Rework’

I’ve been a 100 Word nerd for a long time, submitting my first attempt in January 2010 while still writing on my former blog, “If Mom Says OK.” When Vel gave us our prompt for this week, Rework, and challenged us to “shake things up,” I thought I would bring back one of my early entries and… wait for it… rework it. The original 100 words was published on IMSO a little more than three years ago. I’ll leave it to you, dear readers, to decide which 100 Word version you prefer.

Epidemic proportions

By Tara R., If Mom Says OK
June 9, 2010

There is no vaccine, no medical research in place, no media onslaught of concerned scientists, but it is no less an epidemic, nay… pandemic!

The ailment seems to be limited to one demographic – young men between the ages of 14 and 25. It crosses all socio-economic boundaries, affects all ethnic and cultural classifications, but appears to present in American males more than other nationalities.

Treatments vary, with questionable results. Relapses are common and, in a majority of cases, more acute than when first presented.

While controversial, one promising application for alleviating gluteus maximus crevice exposure is an industrial stapler.

28 thoughts on “Epidemic proportions”

  5. Ok, what’s worse, that I remembered the first challenge by heart, or that I like this one even more?

    good rework…I can’t wait to do this one for Velvet

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  6. Oh, I love that you went back and reworked a piece from when you first started the 100 Word challenge! Warms my little heart. 😉

    The newer version definitely has more energy. The older version is more passive, but the odd thing is that in a way it makes the last line even more surprising. So I’m torn!

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  8. Funny story. Well two of them , really. Scott and I have both lost a LOT of weight in the last year. To the point that we’ve kind of had to struggle to keep up with our clothing sizes. Especially pants. I had one traumatic incident when, trying to race across a crowded intersection with Sam in tow, he having to go to the bathroom fiercely, I trying to keep us from getting hit, my underpants started crawling down from my waist. I had on a dress, one of the rare occasions I had donned one. No hose. Absolutely nothing to prevent the Great Panty Escape. So I started hobble-running with my knees spread wider … and wider, trying to halt the cascade at the calves but ultimately having to yank them back up from the ankles when we reached the far curb. Needless to say I treated myself to new underwear soon after.

    Scott, however, has the exposure problem described above. He prefers loose clothing anyway, and he’s always worn a belt. So when the belt is on its tightest loop and the shorts still too big, he’s at a bit of a loss how to proceed. He seems convinced he’ll be uncomfortable if he goes down a size, even though his professional clothes are ALL the lower size and he finds them comfy. I’ve yanked his pants up in museums, as we’re getting out of the car, and before we walk into buildings, all the while muttering, “Plumber’s problem” to him. But his MOM took things a step further, after seeing us at Mammoth Cave last month. She sent him a check with ORDERS to buy new shorts before someone mistook him for a teenager. I told him we have to get that letter framed, since it is CLASSIC Betty.

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    1. I stopped nagging my son so much about keeping his pants pulled up. Now, I usually only say anything if we are going out together in public. Kids’ butts aren’t nearly as cute at 20 as they were at 2.

      That is so funny about your MIL. I need to get my son a new belt, maybe that will help him too.

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        1. That’s the frustrating part – my son has several belts, and wears them. Belts are part of the ensemble for many young men. But those jeans still creep down their hips.

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          1. Need better belts..and smaller size jeans..that what I kept telling my nephew as he kept manipulating the fit of the belt….Sometimes I guess you just have to leave it alone and hope that some girl he really likes comes along and says to him she does not like his pants like that…and bingo.. .lol . The good news is that is that the worst they are doing then. .no much to worry about

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