Every time I take a long road trip, and I mean every single time, I think of my high school Driver’s Education teacher, Mr. Brown.
Mr. Brown was from Mississippi, and couldn’t pronounce his Rs. He was a tad difficult to understand. Lucky for us, he spoke with a sloooow southern drawl, so we had plenty of time to figure out what he was trying to tell us.
One of the exercises he had us do, during our on-the-road classes, was to change lanes without hitting the reflectors that ran between the lanes… the ‘fump, fumps” he called them.
That’s why road trips take me down memory lane. I still try to stealthily veer around the “fump, fumps.” It’s one of the very few maneuvers I managed to master during Driver’s Ed. Which was good, because I was the first student who ever received an F in backing up.
We were supposed to navigate through a dog-leg course, in reverse. Mr. Brown made me abandon my car when I ran over one of the course traffic cones and got it irretrievably stuck up in a rear wheel well.
“Jus’ get outta da caw!”
The only thing that saved me from failing the class entirely was that I was the only student in my class who could parallel park. And, I did it like a boss. None of this multiple attempts parking, I mean I could tuck my car into that tiny space, first try, every time… still can. It was like I entered a self-transcendent state of ecstasy, my moment of zen.
I was the parking space…
I may not be able to drive backwards through a narrow zig-zag shaped alley, but if you have to park on the street, or deftly avoid small plastic objects stuck on the road, I’m your go-to gal.
Thin spiral notebook 
I just have to ask: how often do we drive backwards through an obstacle course in ‘real life’? Exactly. I’ve only had to back up on a freeway off ramp once 🙂 I can’t parallel park, either. I can pretty much drive forward!
P.S., I hope Asta heals okay. It’s really hard to keep a dog from moving around – good luck 🙂
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I can’t parallel park OR back up…. I must be the worst driver ever.
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I avoid parallel parking at ALL costs. I failed that part of the exam, but managed to pass the rest of it enough to earn a driver’s license.
Saying prayers for Asta. Poor thing! Having a dog who has been through 2 hip surgeries, I know how hard it can be to help them understand having to take it easy.
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I cannot parallel park to save my life…I bow down to you in awe 🙂
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I can’t park PERIOD…
I pulled into a spot across the street from my building one day, got out, and a man working in his yard says “Are you really going to park that far from the curb?”
I said “Am I pretty far away?”
“Yes” he replies.
“I’m not good at parking or math” I say.
“I can tell” he says.
“I look like I’m not good at math???”
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Parallel parking is a horror for me. I’ve successfully mostly avoided it since passing my exam years ago xD
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I still can’t parallel park and I got my license when I was 14 years old. (My mom is legally blind so she needed someone who could drive her.)
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I, too, loved the parallel parking story. I am a grandma and I still can’t parallel park. I’ll drive blocks away to find a parking lot or a diagonal parking street. Sigh…waste more time. I am so envious of your transcendent state during that elusive act. Thanks a bunch for sharing.
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This was a refreshing piece
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I absolutely love the story of your parallel parking. I failed my driver’s exam multiple times because of the damned reverse through the cones thing. Seriously. I hit all five one time.
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