The measure of a man

Claudine preferred her men bald. She even seduced a few admirers to shave their heads. “Why run your fingers through his hair when stroking his naked scalp is much more sensual,” she’d coo. In reality, her cranial petting was more explorative than erotic. As a practitioner of the defunct medical field of phrenology, she was…

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Make mine decaf

Goodwood Duxford tales… The moon had reached its zenith, and the roaring bonfire was throwing sparks and shadows, animating the surrounding darkness. “Your turn, Roger,” Goodwood Duxford was acting emcee for the inaugural Gramberly Cemetery get together. As the resident caretaker and ghost wrangler, and because he knew every spirit in Gramberly, he seemed the…

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Nailed it

I’ve been gainfully unemployed since 2009. In all that time, after all the resumes and job applications I’ve submitted, I’ve had this many responses… zero. Alas… Instead, I suffer job search purgatory vicariously through my grown-ass children. They have both had to do that crazy dance, and I don’t envy them. Other than the steady income, that is.…

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Trapped in the automat

Once upon a time A maiden longed for passion Pining for her prince Fishing in frog ponds Searching in fresh produce aisles Squeezing the melons Pursuing her dreams Sports bars and trivia nights Hoping for a match Meeting Mister Right Her one and only pursuit She’ll stop at nothing Subtle men attend Twice weekly worship meetings Have…

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Warning: Wildlife

They stood at a kitchen sink filled with dirty dishes – one washing, one drying. “Feel free to chime in at any time with your objections,” she said, taking a glass away from her daughter before she crushed it in her hands. “Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, mother.” “To quote you, ‘you can’t pick my friends’.”…

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