Karmic irony

wrecked cars

So, this just happened. So recently in fact, that I am still laughing about it.

I got up early this morning to run errands. I had a hair cut, then I did a little shopping, had a little lunch, was having an all around nice day. I’m on my way home when IT happened.

The road I was driving has three lanes. At the outskirts of town, the three lanes merge down to two, with the outer right lane becoming a turn only. Inevitably, someone will freak out not realizing it’s now a turn lane, or will go all asshat-ish and race ahead, cutting people off to get into the through lane.

That’s what happened to me today… the asshattery part. Someone in a new model Dodge Charger blew past me and did a forced merge. Now, I was having a great day, and didn’t want to let this guy be a buzz kill. I didn’t start swearing or rudely gesturing, and I didn’t even use my horn… that’s a big deal right there. (Okay, I did call him an asshat, but in the nicest possible way.)

Not 50 yards down the road, this asshat in the Charger, the guy who just had to get in front of me, is rolling along, when a second asshat in the left lane wants to be where the first asshat is, and proceeds to change lanes. Not a cut-him-off-like-he did-me lane change, but a run-him-off-the-road-onto-the-gravel-shoulder lane change. The Charger was throwing stones, fish-tailing, swerving all sideways, before finally correcting and getting back on the highway… scary stuff.

This is going on right in front of me. I’m braking hard, checking left and right to find the best probably escape route should the Charger go airborne. But, I am also laughing so hard I’m crying, while simultaneously breathlessly muttering “ohshitohshitohshitohshit.”

I certainly didn’t wish anyone harm, but the karmic irony of the situation was priceless, and hilarious.

*Editorial note: No asshats, or muscle cars, were harmed in the making of this post.

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Categories: Rants, travel

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15 replies »

  1. The pic at the beginning of your post had me a little skeered, at first. But, now I am laughing at Barry’s term: purveyors of prolifically severe asshattery. It is my new favorite :)

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  2. Bless the stupid asshats in the world. If they can keep from killing themselves or, forbid, others, perhaps they can provide a laugh or two. Happy no one was injured in the writing of your most excellent post. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Scary stuff! I applaud your quick thinking to look for an escape route…don’t know if I’d be that agile. Love your “oh…oh…” Exactly what I would be screaming! Glad everyone was okay. Hope “they” learned a lesson from this.

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  4. One hopes that the Charger driver was put in the position of supporting Charmin maker Proctor & Gamble. Because sometimes a little toilet paper is just what an asshat needs. Hopefully.

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