Relief came

pine needles

Hanging from the tree house railing, impatiens swing in the breeze. His mother, standing at the edge of the pine needles, discovered the bones of a child wrapped in a pink blanket.


The Trifextra weekend challenge was to choose 33 words from a single page in Elizabeth Strout’s “Olive Kitteridge,” and reshape those words into a piece of (our) own.

20 Comments Add yours

  1. Very creepy. And oh there are so many directions you could take that short snippet. I want to follow that trail through to the end. Loved it!


  2. Kir Piccini says:

    I have loved reading this, I didn’t do this exercise, I was in NYC on Saturday, but I couldn’t wait to read the ones you chose, you crafted and as always, you engage and then twist, leaving me gasping.


  3. tedstrutz says:

    Holy Mother of Elvis! That was good.


  4. standing at the edge of the pine needles – love that bit


  5. Sudden vision of impatiens turning into pink baby bones. Yikes, Tara!


  6. Diane Turner says:

    Oh, so good. My heart lurched at the ending sentence. Liked how you used the sense of smell and touch. Excellent piece.


  7. Suzanne says:

    Beautifully done! Great story-telling in those 33 words. Creepy, but what a fantastic use of the prompt!


  8. Draug419 says:

    Oh this is really good. Creepy, but really good.


  9. as sad as the message, it was very well-written, particularly the combination of the soothing imagery, then the unanticipated discovery.


  10. kz says:

    vivid, terrifying, a nightmare!


  11. Very vivid picture, then with the sock to the gut. Great job with this prompt!


  12. atrm61 says:

    Ohhh…poor kid & what a shocking discovery for the narrator’s mother!This is amazing writing Tara-loved it:-)


  13. steph says:

    Oh my, heartbreaking and vivid!


  14. deanabo says:

    Wow! You did really well with this one!


  15. Lumdog says:

    Great reformation of the available words. A vivid and sad tale.


  16. barbara says:

    oh, Tara! You went there.
    good stuff!


  17. xm1204 says:

    Oh, sadness! Heartbreaking piece here, which makes the lovely photo haunting.


  18. My goodness! Crushing…and I thought I was…… ah you artist reached hard, and twisted inner senses there… you managed to create such impact, even with ‘other’ words…


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